Posts Tagged ‘life’

The Watcher Smiled

Posted: May 17, 2014 in Biographical
Tags: , , ,

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It has been so long since my last post to this blog that I had to stop and ask myself whether or not anyone would even notice this new stirring of activity.

However, being noticed is contrary to my approach to life. So being able to randomly pour out this collection of thoughts unobserved would be as fitting as any other moment I have casually sat back and watched the whirring world pass by.

Why the unexpected post? Well – I find myself back in London, visiting family ahead of a day out tomorrow at Brands Hatch, and as usual – I find myself sitting and quite literally watching the world go by.

This time however, I can’t help but feel contented and serene as I perch on the dockside, just a stones throw away from London’s Excel exhibition centre – as I take in the breeze, the rare but welcome rays of sunshine bathing the marina and the sounds of a city alive with perpetual motion.

All around there is a sense of activity, energy and life. Whether it is the city jets on final approach to London City airport, the Emirates cable cars transporting passengers from the Docks to Greenwich and the O2 Arena or the now stationary and merely architecturally contributory remnants of the cranes that once were part of the everyday life of a city fed by the commercially vital London Docklands – life continues on it’s passage through the corridors of time.

Life goes on, time passes by and as I approach four decades of watching – I can’t help but sit back and smile.

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He hides from life, inside his sleep

His heart he shields, whilst strangers speak

*

Of torturous days, whilst still he lay

Too proud to scream, he safely dreams

*

A world of warmth, existence eased

Outside too cold, his love deceased

*

The moment when, he once could see

The joy this world, was meant to be

*

And so he weeps, and slowly creeps

Towards the end, the light recedes

*

A loving hand, a furrowed brow

Attentive care, don’t lose hope now

*

Athena speaks, her wisdom wise

This life too dark,

*

open your eyes

Terminal


Outline:
I called my grand-mother around August, in 1997. She mentioned that she had found a lump and that she had been in some pain. I told her that it was important that she got checked out by her doctor. I am not too sure that she did.


My aunt called me around November to say that my Grandmother had cancer of the liver. She was outraged to hear of the conversation from August. My grandmother hadn’t told anyone you see. By chance my aunt had forced her to see a doctor because she was in pain.

They gave her 6 months to a year in November 97. This changed to 3-6 months by December 97. She died January 6th 1998:
:

You really should have told me.
You must have known you could.

Your race against the reaper.
Dark gaze beneath the hood.

His hand upon your shoulder.
Despair at every turn.

I would have tried to help you.
The pain within me burns.

And now you lie defeated.
Too late, your journey ends.

The surgeons couldn’t save you.
Nor I – your only friend.